Salutations folks, slimy frogs, insectoids, humanoids, harmless slimy lobsters, rodents, three headed anomalies and other assorted life forms.
Firstly, much gratitude and appreciation for the immense work of the Oolite Elite - you bastards have created - and work hard to maintain and improve - something amazing, I'm worryingly addicted and spend far more time in the Ooniverse than I should.
I've been playing Oolite a few years on and off, in a handful of incarnations. Currently Deadly, Galaxy 2, flying a super iron-ass Stormbrewer Vigilante, saving up for a Dark Rainbow. I was playing a few years back in a world of OXPs, but I suffered a laptop death with corrupted backup files, including my Oolite saves, and I took some time out for mourning and grief. I was thoroughly dangerous then, with several personas experimenting with a variety of career choices. Life moved on and I found myself variably getting more done with my life or finding new forms of procrastination and avoidance tools. And then I renewed my love affair with Oolite, in all it's modern OXZ glory, to the detriment of my productivity and life ambitions.
I'm not much of a gamer at all; haven't really played anything much since I was a teenager, spending too much time and money in the arcades (anyone remember Pacland??), and playing Elite and Chucky Egg and the like on the old BBC b, and possibly on my brother's Amiga or similar. In my mid 40s now, and Oolite is my one guilty time-zapper that I allow myself - sheesh, this isn't a game for a quick few minutes here and there is it? On the other hand I don't do TV so I guess we all have something eh.
I'm currently flying as Commander Bumble The Magnificent, flying The Torch Of Righteousness. Mainly eschew the likes of parcel delivery, passenger contracts and so on. Previously I'd had some fun as an escort (hush down at the back, times were hard, I needed the money), but these days I'm really only interested in one thing, the thing I think that attracts most of us and always has, except a few pacifists, risk averse feline big ship traders and Hognose flying evagelists - smashing up baddies.
Clearing the space lanes of n'eer-do-wells, organised crime cartels, Thargoid hoards, Trumps (a word, I believe, originating in early 21st Century humanoid folklore, meaning a vacuous and narcissistic fraud), and chancers who've lucked out on some bad choices they'll tragically not live long enough to regret. My lasers slice through them all like the sharp fire of my moral superiority, and while I have some sympathy for the resistance fighters fighting opression, they've chosen badly when targetting me for some loot for their insurgency. A life on the open seas or fighting for a just cause holds an attraction I can appreciate, but if there's no ethical code then what worth is a life? Not that I'm averse to shipping a holdful of contraband here and there, if I reckon it won't harm my legal status too much.
So I'll jump to the rescue of anyone in distress, help out the cops and Navy, take out Pirate Coves for fun, take on hijacked Leviathons and Renegade stations, swarms of alien invaders, large posses of pirates and fugitives (Ten of you? I'm afraid you're hopelessly outnumbered. You may run now and I'll spare some of you) and take on the most deadly of assasination contracts, where I have the proud reputation of a respected and feared Sherriff among my fellow seedy space bar judges and executioners, and rather a hefy price on my head from the mafioso, clans and bereaved associates of the wealthy yet fatally punished desperado's of the Ooniverse. I laugh at their feeble attempts at vengeance, as they scream their last breaths in a blaze of rectitude, succumbed to their own futile hubris.
I'll trade as much as I can, and salvage the lucrative carcasses and debris of those poor fools who chose the wrong side and the wrong path, and take on allcomers among the aristocracy, extracting large sums from wagers at the Royal Hunting Lodges while humiliating their pride and redistributing their ill-used wealth to the poor, like a Robin Hood with a very expensive bow and arrows. Except the poor is me. Them extra shields and cannons and gadgets and this iron-ass don't come cheap you know.
An Equaliser if you will, restoring balance, and bringing peace and harmony through gratuitous violence upon those I'm allowed to legally massacre.
It wasn't always this way. Like you I started out from humble beginnings, reduced to blowing up asteroids for a few credits, just so I could buy some more fuel, a mere pea-shooter for a battle weapon. I share this with you in the humble desire to inspire and to give encouragement to those feeling hopeless and vulnerable in a harsh Galaxy that is hostile, volatile and full of projectiles. With disciplined dedication to a righteous cause, you too can hone those skills, joust with the fancy-lasered gamblers, trade up to the sort of armoured stallion beffitting a wo/man of the noble calling, cashing in bounties and bringing justice to a world of lawlessness - for a brighter tomorrow.
In hope and in fearless probity.
Commander Bumble The Magnificent, flying a Dark Rainbow: The Torch Of Righteousness.
Rank: ***ELITE*** : kills 7k+
Deadly to the reprobate, salvation for the tyrannised.
What's that you say, a horde of marauding n'eer-do-wells? They shall rue the day.